How’s your balance? Mine has always been pretty good. I learned to ride a bike when I was really young. Then growing up I conquered my skateboard and mastered both snow skiing and waterskiing. Every time I went to the circus as a kid, I felt sure that I could walk a tightrope just like the circus stars, if given the chance.
Balance is very important. It can mean the difference between standing up or falling down. Balance within a marriage is crucial.
For a marriage to be in balance, each person needs to be in balance. With physical balance, Nancy standing upright has nothing to do with whether I fall or not. But if my life gets out of balance, that’s different. It affects her; and the more I am out of balance, the more it hurts our marriage.
Here’s an example. I get really excited about what I do. I love working with people in the counseling room. I love teaching at live events. I love creating videos and writing and helping people through Christian coaching. I love leading Awesome Marriage. The problem comes when all those things that I love to do cause me to get out of balance with Nancy. Since her love language is quality time, things can get out of balance rather quickly when I’m not intentional about spending time with her. At this point in our marriage, I’m a whole lot better at recognizing when that happens than I used to be, but I still have to work at it.
What about you? Where can you get out of balance, and how does that affect your spouse? What about your marriage? What do you need to do to bring balance to it? In the book, I talk about a number of ways to add balance to your marriage. Look those over and use them as a guide or even a checklist. What are you doing and what are you not doing? Then together pick one idea, and commit to focus on it together as a couple. Think it through together. When will you start? Are there any obstacles that you need to deal with first? Then go. Work hard together to bring balance into your marriage.
Once you have successfully brought one new balance idea into your marriage, pick another one to work on. Actually the whole secret of working together to add balance to your marriage goes back to one of the foundational principles that we have talked about before: God first, spouse second. If you hold fast to that principle, then adding balance is another secret that will take your marriage to a new level.
