In order for Nancy and me to quit fighting each other and begin fighting together, we needed a change in our stance. Instead of standing face to face yelling at each other, we pivoted so we could stand side by side yelling together at something else. A simple pivot changed our marriage.
We learned that when we were fighting each other, God was usually nowhere to be found. We weren’t calling on Him or honoring Him with our actions or our words. I think He probably found something else to do besides watching us fight. But when we began fighting together, He was there. He was right there with us to help us, to encourage us, and to give us answers that we never would have found on our own.
What about you? Are you fighting each other or fighting together? Think about your money&mdash the number one thing couples fight about. What if instead of arguing about money or how you spend it, you prayed together about your finances? What would happen if you created a budget together and maybe even took a finance class together? That is fighting together. That is fighting on the same team.
Marriage is not easy, and fighting each other only complicates the situation. It seems that it’s easy for us to fall into patterns of fighting that we hate but keep repeating over and over and over. And with each repeat, we knock another hole in the foundation of our marriage.
I plead with couples to fight together, to break bad cycles, to love each other like Christ loves us. Often, however, my words seem to fall on deaf ears. I beg you, don’t let that be you. Make the choice to not only be on the same team but also act like you are on the same team. Most importantly, make room for God on your team.
Learning to fight together with God on your team takes a marriage that is losing and replaces it with a marriage that is winning. That is really cool!
