For many Christian parents, the church is seen as the primary source of spiritual instruction for their children. While the church plays a vital role in supporting a child’s faith journey, it was never meant to replace the responsibility of parents in their children’s discipleship. As parents, you are the most significant spiritual influence in your child’s life. Discipleship begins in the home, and when you take ownership of this role, you create an environment where faith can grow in everyday moments.
Let’s explore the importance of shifting the responsibility for your child’s discipleship from the church back to the home and how you can do this in a practical, meaningful way.
The Overreliance on Church Programs
It’s easy to see why parents might rely heavily on the church for their child’s discipleship. The church offers age-appropriate Sunday School classes, youth groups, and children’s ministries—all filled with trained teachers and an engaging curriculum. In CCF, there’s NXTGen and Elevate for kids and teens. These programs are important, and they provide valuable support to a child’s spiritual development. However, they were never intended to bear the full weight of discipleship.
Many parents assume that dropping their kids off at church for an hour or two each week is enough to nurture their faith. But the truth is, discipleship happens best in the context of daily life—within the home, through consistent and intentional effort. When we over-rely on the church, we miss the opportunity to shape our children’s spiritual growth as God intended.
1. Embrace Your Role as the Primary Disciple-Maker
As Christian parents, you are called to be the primary disciple-makers in your child’s life. This doesn’t mean you need to have a seminary degree or be an expert in theology. It simply means that you take responsibility for guiding your child toward Christ on a daily basis.
- Your Influence Matters Most: Studies show that parents are the most influential figures in a child’s spiritual development. How you live out your faith at home has a far greater impact than any church program. Your children are watching you and learning what it means to follow Jesus by observing your actions, attitudes, and priorities.
- Discipleship is a Lifestyle: Discipleship doesn’t have to be limited to formal Bible studies or structured lessons. It’s a way of life that permeates everything you do as a family. Whether you’re having dinner together, running errands, or spending time at home, there are countless opportunities to point your children to God and teach them about His love.
When you embrace your role as the primary disciple-maker, you create a foundation for faith that extends far beyond the church walls.
2. Partner with the Church—Don’t Outsource
The church is a valuable partner in your child’s discipleship, but it’s not a replacement for your role as a parent. Think of the church as a resource that comes alongside you to support the spiritual growth you’re fostering at home.
- Supplement, Don’t Substitute: The church provides excellent resources, lessons, and experiences for children, but these should supplement what you’re already doing at home, not replace it. After church, ask your children what they learned and continue the conversation throughout the week. Reinforce the biblical truths they’re hearing at church by integrating them into your daily routines.
- Stay Connected with Church Leaders: Build relationships with the leaders and teachers at your church who are investing in your child. Let them know how you’re discipling your child at home, and ask for suggestions or resources that can complement your efforts. When you’re connected to the church, you can work together to provide a cohesive discipleship experience for your child.
- Serve as a Family: Look for ways to serve in your church together as a family. Whether it’s volunteering at an outreach event, participating in a mission trip, or simply helping with a church project, serving together reinforces the importance of living out your faith in the real world.
By partnering with the church instead of outsourcing discipleship, you create a more holistic and effective approach to your child’s spiritual development.
3. Create a Faith-Filled Home Environment
Your home should be the primary place where your child experiences faith in action. By creating an environment where faith is lived out daily, you help your children understand that following Jesus is not just a Sunday activity—it’s a way of life.
- Make Faith Tangible: Look for ways to incorporate faith into your everyday activities. For example, you might play worship music while making breakfast, read a Bible story together before bed, or pray as a family before leaving the house each morning. These small, intentional acts of faith help your children see that God is a part of every aspect of their lives.
- Talk About God Regularly: Don’t wait for Sunday to talk about God. Engage your children in conversations about faith throughout the week. Ask them what they’re learning in their personal devotions or how they see God working in their lives. Share your own experiences of how God is leading you, and encourage open dialogue about spiritual matters.
- Model a Life of Faith: The most powerful way to disciple your children is by modeling a life of faith. When your children see you prioritizing prayer, Bible reading, and acts of kindness, they’re more likely to follow suit. Let them see you turning to God in times of joy and struggle, and involve them in your spiritual practices.
By creating a faith-filled home environment, you’re teaching your children that faith is not confined to the church—it’s something that permeates every part of life.
4. Use Everyday Moments to Teach Spiritual Truths
You don’t need to be a Bible scholar to disciple your children effectively. Often, the most impactful discipleship happens in the ordinary moments of life. By being intentional with these moments, you can help your children grow in their understanding of God.
- Teach Through Experiences: Look for opportunities to teach your children spiritual truths through everyday experiences. For example, if your child is struggling with a friendship, use that as a chance to talk about forgiveness and kindness. If they’re celebrating a success, remind them to thank God for their blessings. Life is full of teachable moments that can be used to point your children to God.
- Ask Questions: Encourage your children to think deeply about their faith by asking questions. When they face challenges or make decisions, ask how they think God wants them to respond. This helps them develop a biblical worldview and learn to apply their faith to real-life situations.
- Celebrate Spiritual Milestones: Just as you celebrate birthdays and academic achievements, take time to celebrate your child’s spiritual milestones. Whether it’s memorizing a Bible verse, making a decision to follow Christ, or learning a new spiritual discipline, acknowledging these moments reinforces the importance of their faith journey.
Everyday moments provide countless opportunities to disciple your children. The key is to be intentional and mindful of how you can use these experiences to point them to Christ.
5. Trust God with the Result
Discipleship is a long-term investment, and it’s important to remember that the results aren’t always immediate. Sometimes, you feel like your efforts aren’t making a difference or that your child’s faith isn’t growing as quickly as you’d like. But take heart—God is at work, even when you can’t see it.
- Be Consistent: Discipleship is about consistency over time. Even if your efforts feel small or insignificant, trust that God is using them to shape your child’s heart. Continue to show up, invest in your child’s spiritual growth, and trust that God will bring the increase in His time.
- Pray for Your Child: Never underestimate the power of prayer. Pray regularly for your child’s spiritual growth, wisdom, and understanding. Ask God to give you the strength and guidance you need to disciple them well. Ultimately, your child’s faith journey is in God’s hands, and prayer is one of the most powerful ways to support them.
- Trust God’s Plan: Remember that God loves your child even more than you do, and He has a plan for their life. Your role is to guide them, but it’s God who does the transforming work in their hearts. Trust Him to carry out His perfect plan in His perfect timing.
The church is an invaluable partner in your child’s discipleship, but it cannot replace the role of the parent. By taking ownership of your child’s spiritual development and creating a faith-filled home, you help lay the foundation for a lifetime of following Jesus. Remember, you don’t have to do it perfectly—God will work through your efforts, no matter how small they may seem.
As you intentionally disciple your children at home, partnering with the church and making faith a natural part of your everyday life, you’ll create an environment where your children can grow in their love for God and deepen their relationship with Him.
